Great News♠

I just got the most amazing news. I am a finalist in the California Health and Longevity Institute's contest for Project Transformation! I have an appointment for a three hour interview coming up next week, and I am so excited. My daughter helped me by video-ing me on her digital camera, and after a lot of fooling around trying to upload it onto the computer, I walked in a CD of the application video. I had to buffer my anticipation with the usual "well, I probably won't be chosen" but I really really want to be in on this incredible opportunity.
First of all, just to be in the beautiful surroundings of the CHLI, which is in the 4 seasons hotel in Westlake is simply inspiring. Everything is so beautiful and there has been so much attention to detail in everything that it is a pleasure to just wander into the lobby. The floors are exquisite and it only gets better from there. Looking out the expansive windows into the grounds is practically a religious experience (And of course it brings out the froggy in me). I have been seeing a nutritionist there and she is so smart and just a delight to work with. I am learning from her and even though I have not yet put all of her recommendations into operation, they come to me in the course of the day. In the morning, when I am in the park with my darling Lucy dog, I am thinking of new information that I need to use better in my choices.
I have had a book in my library for a while now, but I just picked it up to read a couple of days ago. It is kind of like doing a journal, but instead of writing daily, in involves reading a verse of the Tao every day, and the accompanying commentary. It is Wayne Dyer's "Change your thoughts, Change your life" and it is intended to be read one verse of the Tao, and it's accompanying commentary every day. I actually read the first one twice, I mean on two successive days. It had to do with paradoxical thinking. He suggests that wanting or trying, and allowing, are on a continuum, and to take note of where you are on that continuum at times. One of the examples he gives is wanting to go to sleep rather than going to sleep, or allowing yourself to sleep. It so happend that last night I was a bit sleepless, and I began to get that restless feeling that you get when you are wakeful. Then I thought of what I had read, and rather than trying to get to sleep, I allowed sleep to come. Wow. I fell asleep with none of the anxiety I can get when I am wakeful. No punching the pillow, or turning from side to side. A peacefulness came over me, unexpected and very welcome and slowly I drifted into sleep.
Now I am wondering if allowing oneself to eat healthfully and properly is different from trying to diet. I think that it is. There is a peacefulness to it that the very act of trying disallows. Today I was out at lunchtime doing some overdue errands, and I thought I would grab something at a drive-thru. Then I thought of where I am on the continuum of trying and allowing. When you try, it is possible to feel deprived when you disallow yourself that drive-thru meal. When you allow healthy eating to be a part of your day, then there is no deprivation involved.
I have to get on to the second verse. If ther first one was so illuminating, I can't wait to continue with the rest.
My interview appointment is Saturday March 6. The dress is business casual, and I simply can't wait. I will allow the universe to bring me what I really need, and I will do well with it. I really hope that the universe allows me to be a part of Project Transformation.

When I applied for the personal transformation contest at the CHLI, my video talked about wanting to transform myself from a frog into a princess. That was why I called this the Frog Blog, because I am feeling pretty froggy lately. Not that I really know what frogs feel like, I am sure that some of them are actually quite attractive--to another frog. But the thing is that I don't want to be attractive to frogs of any kind. What I want is to look in the morror and know that I have tried my best to look the best that I can look. I have spent so much of my life improving the inside, and now I want to concentrate on the outside.
I have often wondered if anyone else has a time or an event in life, or a reason why the attractive thing just doesn't work for them. Oh, it's not that I don't try. I do. I style my hair and put on make-up, but I just dont feel as good as I could feel, as confident as I want to feel when I walk into a room full of strangers. For women, I guess that feeling of having people look at you and smile, or look at you and think "wow, she looks really good" is really important to one's self esteem. Lately, I don't feel that and so I comfort myself with food, and with sweets, and in the end I am not at all comfortable.
So this blog is going to be about getting back to taking good care of myself. I did it once before but haven't been able to sustain the losses. The weight crept back up and I have been stuck for a couple of years. My clothes, most of which I took in so that they would fit the new thinner me, have become tight and uncomfortable, and to say that I am disgusted with myself is to put it mildly. It was so easy before. People would ask my how I lost all that weight--80 pounds--and I would casually answer "eat less, exercise more", because that is exactly what I did! I would add a bit to my walk every so often, and cut out all pasta, bread, potatoes, desserts, and just eat enough to sustain. I reached a plateau and started having a pretty hard time. Then other things intervened and I was pretty lost. Eating became a comfort and not a physical function.
But I am happy to report that today, I had a very good day. I ate appropriately, did not have a stomach ache at all, and kept away from the sweets. So today was day one of good days ahead. Lucy, my darling German Shepherd, and I go out for a walk every morning before breakfast. With the lovelier weather that will be even easier to do. So, I hope that today was the first of many and not an anomaly. I will be keeping you posted.