Learning about myself

I haven't forgotten to write, but I have been so busy trying to digest and distill some of the things that I learned over the past weekend at a seminar that I have been stumped. The seminar was about the energy of money, but it wasn't about investments or anything, but about our relationships with money. The reason I bring it up is that it was applicable to so many things other and more than money.
I found myself thinking about my relationship with my body, and with fitness and health. That's why I mention it. We Project Transformationists are actually learning to have a better relationship with self than the one we have been having. I think that the culture,or society, or whatever you want to call it has set us up to be always disapproving, always disappointed, with what we see and how we are with our bodies. We aren't thin enough, or young enough, or pretty enough. Here I will speak for myself. I can't ever remember a time in my life that I looked in the mirror and loved what I saw. Oh I might like my hair, or the way my make-up looks that day, but never the whole package. There are so many things to pick on. I'm not the size I would like to be, or my arms are flabby, or my legs are too white. The speaker on Saturday brought up the proposition "If I were more relaxed about money [my body], what would I not be doing with it that I am currently doing, and what would I be doing with it that I am not currently doing?" Because I want to put some conscious intentionality into the space.
So substituting our health, or the way we treat our bodies for the subject of money, how are we spending it? The speaker spoke about leaking money. Leaking occurs when you are using it in a way that doesn't bring you enjoyment. She gave the example of spending $7 at Starbucks each day for a coffee and a croissant that you eat without even thinking about it, without enoyment--on the run. I got to thinking about what I do mindlessly with regard to my health--like taking an extra helping that I don't need, or making a choice that might not be in my best interest, or not taking the time to exercise, which will give me energy for further endeavors. Am I leaking my health by sitting in front of the TV mindlessly watching reruns? Am I leaking my health when we I let fear take over thinking that something is too hard for me, instead of going for it. My first hike proved to me that I can get there, even if I have to go slowly. By now, two weeks later, I am already ready to take on Charmlee park. Another really appropos quote: "A moment of discomfort is a small price to pay for enlightenment".
Maria, Saturday's speaker, reminded us that "Success is doing what you said you would do, consistently, with clarity, focus ease and grace." Our six months of building new habits is the opportunity of a lifetime, to take into the future so that we can approve of ourselves, and conquer the hero's path. Speaking for myself, I am attaining clarity, and I am certainly focused. The ease and grace are still to come, but I'm working on it. Goals should be the signposts along the path of your Life's Intention. My intention is to get slim, fit and healthy. The goals are weight loss, eating consciously, exercising regularly, remaining alert and engaged in life and enjoyment. Since Maria gave us the requirements that a goal should meet, I am passing them on to you. A goal should be 1.)specific [I want to lose 10 pounds], 2.)measureable [I have lost 10 pounds], 3.)attainable or achieveable [it's 10 not 100], 4.)relate to a life intention [to be slim fit and healthy] and 5.)time based [I want to do it in 3 weeks]. Remember that we learned that small actions taken can change your life. Don't wait for your self confidence to get better, it will get better with action. We have to remind ourselves that we are in a game worth playing for a goal worth playing for.
I am going to close with what was possibly the best thing I learned this weekend, and that is that It's not necessary to overcome fear, it is always there. It doesn't mean anything, about you, your goals, or your dreams--sometimes it's just a sign that you are doing something out of your comfort zone. Gently shift the focus of your attention from the fear to your life's intention and your goals. When you are feeling fear, that's all it is, it is simply fear. Inevitable obstacles that occur make you stronger. Mastery is about learning to master obstacles--without obstacles there is no mastery.

Things I'm learning from CHLI

Wow, what a way to clear my head and think straight. Exercise, who'd have thought it. It makes me wonder why jocks aren't more self-reflective. Perhaps it is because they are fixated on winning and ore not in it for the "high".
It is really interesting to be the focus of attention. I don't think I have ever before had such concentrated attention. There is not only instruction about how to do things that will enhance my well-being, physical as well as psychological, but a key factor for me has also been something I will have to call permission. Heretofore, I have to admit that concentrating on myself has been something I have not done thinking that I was behaving "selffishly." And I don't think that anyone really equates selfishness with something positive. But if we turn that around a bit, and look at it from a different angle, taking good care of oneself can be quite generous It makes me better able to do the things that I do for my family. It makes me a more alert and aware citizen who is better equipped to handle emergencies, and is not a drag on the economy because I need more services. Good health and good cheer is contagious, just as unhappiness and depression are. So isn't it better to pass on the positive rather than the negative?
So I want to list here some of the positives that I have noticed about myself now that I am getting exercise and eating better. First, I am happy to report that I have lost 5 pounds since April 2 when I had my first resting metabolic rate. Not too bad. Also, I have added afternoon exercise to my routine, something I had never thought I could "fit into " my day. That was one of the things that Suzi and I spoke about, that by calendaring time for my needs, I was putting myself on the list. I have spent a lifetime fitting my needs into whatever time was left over, and we all know that there is never any time left over. Those little Kaizen steps really work.
By now, I have met with Sherri, my personal trainer, and have started stretching at home. I really did not realize how tight some of my muscles were and that this was the reason for alot of my stiffness and not just age encroaching. It is good to see that there are remedies, not that the body doesn't age, because it certainly does, and things wear out, but we can keep limber in the face of it. And we don't have to emit that grunt when we get out of the car or up off the couch. It just isn't so much of an effort anymore.
Also, people who have been home for a while, or should I not generalize about that and just say that since I have been working at home rather than going out to an office, I got a bit too comfortable at home, to the point of becomming a bit leery of new experiences. It was becomming too big an effort to try something new, or go someplace unfamiliar. Oh sure, I would say "sure, I'll come" and then as I was getting dressed to go, I would hear myself whining in my head about wanting to stay home, and not have to bother to put my best foot forward, or put my foot into unfamiliar waters. I wonder if it is the fear of being judged and found wanting.
I always tell my daughters to get dressed and made up so that you are so satisfied with your appearence that you can forget about it and focus on the new people you are meeting and the new situation you are being introduced to. Good advice ? It always seemed so, but I know that when you don't feel your best, it's hard to get to that place. Now that I am taking off some of the weight, even a small amount so that my clothes fit more comfortably, it's easier to take that advice from myself. Now that I am more comfortable walking and standing up straight, I feel like I present a more confident person in the world.
Also, I referred a couple of days ago to being more alert. It's probably all that fresh oxygenated blood to the brain thats making me better. It's also a few other things: knowing that I can accomplish great things a small step at a time, even though I have done that sometimes in my life, knowing that it is an actual method of getting things accomplished that is tried and true is comforting.
Another valuable lesson that is a mental shift is from the nutrition part of the program. If we are trying to lose weight and sticking to a 1500 calorie diet for example, eating an extra cookie for example doesn't make us weak and shouldn't muske us feel as if we've "blown it". That too often leads to further blowing it. If we've had an extra, that may make that day a maintenance day, rather than a losing day. It doesn't make it a "bad" day, or me a bad person or a weak person or a loser, it just means that I went over the limit for weight loss, and stepped for a moment into the maintenance area, so if I want to continue to lose, I have to step back. I hope that this makes sense to you, that I have explained it adequately, because it have made a huge difference for me. It has meant that I am not either ON THE PROGRAM or OFF THE PROGRAM, but that I am on the program with a small deviation for today, and tomorrow ( or the next meal or whatever)I will still be on the program-- not that I was off the program, or wagon, and have to fight to get back on. I AM on, and I will be on, and I can step away for a moment, and step right back.