Well, since I have no fans yet, I am writing this for the sake of continuity. Last week, I am happy to say, I got another of those happy phone calls. Come back to the CHLI for a second and I am assuming a final interview. Agian, not tennis shoes, so I am assuming that they are not going to test my agility or how many times I can run around the grounds. The dress is again business casual, there are fewer invitees this time, and as I recall, the date of decision was supposed to be March 18. The allotted time is 2 hours this time and I have to be there at 5pm. I am debating whethere I should be wearing green this time, as one of the interviewers mentioned that he thought I would be wearing green that time. It is not really my very best color, But I happen to have a shirt in that color. I am feeling pretty excited about this whole process, and yet am calm. I realize that my schedule will change drastically if I am chosen, as I will have to appear there a minimum of three times a week. However, to take six months and just concentrate on me, on what is good for me, and to learn some things about how best to do that is very appealing.
The possibility of being included in this experiment is very exciting. I have never before really concentrated on me, what is good for me and having some help with that. I guess pregnancy comes the closest to such self awareness and self care, but is it really self, or is it all for the baby?As I recall, it was not the self that was the important part, unlike this experiment. It was the self as a vessel for something else. I worry that it is too selfish to do this, but I have no one depending on me. My children are grown, my husband is self sufficient, and I keep saying that I want it to be my turn. I have to really mean it. I think I do.
I imagine what it will be like to dance again, and to feel light, and to be able to wear the clothes I really love instead of what might look good for the moment. I keep feeling that this is a great chance for me to really do it, and I hope that even if I don't get chosen, I will be able to stay with what I have learned and to make a better stab, one that will really stick for the long haul. I have realized that most of my eating is pretty good. I realize that I have two real enemies, and they are sweets and bread. I just adore bread in any form, and of course that includes whatever tops them like butter and such. I stopped eating bread and sweets last week, and it is amazing how aware it has made me of all the other things that I put in my mouth. When I am in control of what I am putting in my mouth, I feel happier.
So here is to aware eating, aware exercise, and hopefully making a personal transformation with the help of the CHLI. It is a heavenly place, the surroundings are gorgeous, everyone smiles, there has been so much attention to detail, to serving every part of one, the eyes with the exquisite surroundings, the ears, with the sound of gently falling falling water, the sense of smell with all of the flowers and orchids, and the on and on. What an interesting next six months we could have learing all about how to take better care of ourselves, because if I am chosen, I would love to share all I learn.