Learning to say "Yes"

Now that I have my darling Lucy well again, with a new lease on life, I have been thinking about the new lease on life that I am working on, that all of us Project Transformation winners are getting, with the help of the CHLI. There isn't really a moment in life, I guess with the exception of taking our very last breath and perhaps even then, that we can't turn over a new leaf, make a decision about a new and better way to live, improve our relationships, and in general make our own world and the worlds of those whose lives we touch, better. The last breath thing would be telling someone you have loved them, or that you are sorry. But with that as an exception, I am thinking of all that I have begun to do over the last three months that I have not done in any sustained manner before that will add health to my years.
Learning to say "yes" is one of those new things that I am learning and it has been an amazing learning experience. I am a person, like many women, especially of my generation, who was taught not to bother others with my needs, not to give anyone else any trouble about taking care of me, and to do for myself when possible. How often women feel guilty when they are sick or hurt and are always saying how sorry they are to cause any one any bother. So when asked if we need anything, we always answer politely, "Oh please don't bother, I can do it myself". Learning to say "yes" means allowing oneself to be cared for, in big and small ways, and it is a difficult skill to learn. CHLI has been very instrumental in helping me learn to say yes. It is learning to say ( and believe) that I am as important as anyone else, that I deserve to be treated as well as I treat others. Not by stepping on someone else's toes, but by just graciously accepting what is offered on my behalf. It is kind of humbling to know that when I became a feminist in the early days of the movement, learning to say NO was big--"No" to being paid less than I was worth, "No" to being taken advantage of in the workplace, but learning to say yes was never part of the equasion. Not a big resounding "yes", but a quiet, polite and grateful "yes" for a courtesy extended, for a kindness offered, for a thoughtful act performed.
I knew that it had finally sunk in when I was recently in the dentist's chair and remarked on how chilly it was in the room, and was asked if I wanted a blanket. "Yes" came the immediate answer, tripping out of my mouth without so much as a pang of guilt. I heard that answer, made without equivocation, without excuse, and knew that I had "come a long way, baby". When asked, quite often, if I want a glass of water at CHLI, the simple and immediate and guiltless answer is now "yes, thanks". I get lots of chances to practice, and I love the results.
Our new lease on life has come with saying "yes"to eating right, "yes" to learning new ways of doing things, "yes" to more exercise, "yes" to fitting ourselves onto the list of important 'things to do', and lucky us, it has come with a chance to enjoy new friendships, the luxury of beautiful surroundings, and the chance for more life in our years. So Thanks to all of our mentors, and to the Hotel for hosting us and giving us this opportunity to be better than we were when we began.
If that is not a new Lease On Life, then I don't know what is.