When I applied for the personal transformation contest at the CHLI, my video talked about wanting to transform myself from a frog into a princess. That was why I called this the Frog Blog, because I am feeling pretty froggy lately. Not that I really know what frogs feel like, I am sure that some of them are actually quite attractive--to another frog. But the thing is that I don't want to be attractive to frogs of any kind. What I want is to look in the morror and know that I have tried my best to look the best that I can look. I have spent so much of my life improving the inside, and now I want to concentrate on the outside.
I have often wondered if anyone else has a time or an event in life, or a reason why the attractive thing just doesn't work for them. Oh, it's not that I don't try. I do. I style my hair and put on make-up, but I just dont feel as good as I could feel, as confident as I want to feel when I walk into a room full of strangers. For women, I guess that feeling of having people look at you and smile, or look at you and think "wow, she looks really good" is really important to one's self esteem. Lately, I don't feel that and so I comfort myself with food, and with sweets, and in the end I am not at all comfortable.
So this blog is going to be about getting back to taking good care of myself. I did it once before but haven't been able to sustain the losses. The weight crept back up and I have been stuck for a couple of years. My clothes, most of which I took in so that they would fit the new thinner me, have become tight and uncomfortable, and to say that I am disgusted with myself is to put it mildly. It was so easy before. People would ask my how I lost all that weight--80 pounds--and I would casually answer "eat less, exercise more", because that is exactly what I did! I would add a bit to my walk every so often, and cut out all pasta, bread, potatoes, desserts, and just eat enough to sustain. I reached a plateau and started having a pretty hard time. Then other things intervened and I was pretty lost. Eating became a comfort and not a physical function.
But I am happy to report that today, I had a very good day. I ate appropriately, did not have a stomach ache at all, and kept away from the sweets. So today was day one of good days ahead. Lucy, my darling German Shepherd, and I go out for a walk every morning before breakfast. With the lovelier weather that will be even easier to do. So, I hope that today was the first of many and not an anomaly. I will be keeping you posted.